The Traitor - Prologue

[deleonjh]

It is said that Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned. What happens when Zuko realizes that his father doesn't love him and that his nation despises him? What happens when he declares war on the Fire Nation? A story about another path Zuko might have taken after his Agni Kai.

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Zuko realized that his father didn't love him three weeks after his thirteenth birthday.

At the time, he'd been shocked at this epiphany and would have sworn it came out of nowhere. Much later, when he was able to look at his situation with a clarity afforded by distance, Zuko would admit to himself that his doubts and fears had been steadily accumulating beforehand. Zuko's epiphany fell upon him not as a bolt of lightning, but instead was more like a dam that had steadily eroded before one day bursting. To the people living below the dam, the explosion would be a surprise, but had any of them visited the dam regularly then they would have seen the cracks and leaks that were steadily growing.

Like the dam, Zuko's love for his father seemed indestructible, as did his love for the Fire Nation. Zuko would have gladly died for his father and for his people. If it is sweet and fitting to die for one's country, how much more fitting would it be if your father was also your nation's leader? But like the dam, Zuko's love was unnatural. It is not in the nature of a river to be dammed and it is not in the nature of a monster to be loved.

Over the years, there had been many incidents that had steadily eroded Zuko's loyalty to the Fire Lord. However, each one only spurred Zuko into becoming more fervent in denying his doubts. Perhaps his father liked his sister Azula more, but that was only because she was a better firebender. If Zuko improved, then surely his father would quickly approve of him. Perhaps the Fire Lord was impatient at Zuko's merciful nature, but it was actually Zuko's fault for being weak. If he became stronger, surely his father would accept him. Surely his father would love him.

But there is only so much that one person can endure, only so many lies that one boy can tell himself. The caterpillar does not know it is becoming a butterfly, but day by day the changes accumulate until one day a new being emerges. Like the caterpillar, Zuko moved unknowingly to his fate. Like the caterpillar, Zuko's change came upon him suddenly. Like the caterpillar, Zuko devoured his old self to create his new self.

And so, after inadvertently insulting his father in public, after unknowingly challenging his father's callous disregard for the lives of loyal soldiers, after discovering that he was to duel his lord and father, after begging for forgiveness that did not exist, after being mutilated by his own father, after experiencing firsthand the mercy of the Fire Lord and the Fire Nation – in short, after having every cherished belief destroyed before his own eyes – Zuko stopped being Zuko.

The Crown Prince entered the dueling grounds, but afterwards he did not spend three days holding back cries of pain. He did not listen to his sister gravely deliver news of his banishment while mocking him with her eyes. He was not given the impossible task of finding the Avatar, a person who had not been seen in a hundred years. He did not silently listen while Uncle Iroh offered his help, did not stew in bitter rage while his ship crossed the oceans and did not stare with burning eyes at the Earth Kingdom port where they had docked.

The Crown Prince entered the dueling grounds, but it was the Blue Spirit who left. It was the Blue Spirit who took first one step down the gangplank then another, away from the Fire Lord, away from Uncle, and away from the Fire Nation. It was the Blue Spirit who stepped off the ship towards the Earth Kingdom, who stepped forward towards the future, towards vengeance, towards destiny.